In my previous blog I said I would spill the tea on how I began my healing process. When you have been through the worst life has to offer you, giving up has become the solution.
In 2014 I made the decision that I was going to heal myself. So the first step: is making the conscious decision to save your life. “You have to want better before you get better “. I got tired of the heavy heart, missing meals, the excessive crying, the excessive drinking, the suicidal thoughts, the isolations, feeling hopeless and etc. So I went back to my roots and I began to pray. Not those heavy breathing and shouting prayers that lasts hours, But the simple one. The one where you inhale and slowly exhale and tell God your tired and you simply cry and let it all go to him. Days went by and this was my prayers. And then my prayers went from silent tears to just a simple conversation, you know the ones you would have with a best friend. So step two: I simply prayed. While my relationship with God was growing my wounds started to heal. I had to let it all go. Yes! Step three : Is full Forgiveness. You have to forgive those that hurt you and you have to forgive yourself. Forgiveness has always been the hardest thing and that process alone is not easy. It felt good to hold anger in my heart towards other people and I didn’t realize I was poisoning myself. It’s like cigarettes to a smoker it feels good but it is silently destroying them. With every inhalation few seconds of life is taken away. Unforgiveness is the same way. I had to choose to be free from anger and hatred in my heart towards anyone and myself. I know it’s not easy but think of you saving your life. Remember (Marianne Williamson said it best “Unforgiveness is like drinking poison yourself and waiting for the other person to die...”) My favorite part of the process was finally finding myself. That was a very interesting process. Stay tune, I’ll tell you in my next blog.