“What Love Wasn’t “

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 (What Love wasn’t)


All experiences in our life teaches us a lesson. But as life teaches you, the question is are you teachable, are you willing to learn your lesson... Going through my toxic marriage and divorce I’ve learned so much. With all the hurt and the pain; With all the betrayal and abuse, later on I realize that in all this their was a lesson to be learned. One thing that I truly learned was “What Love wasn’t “ 


Love does not hurt but it heals...

Love does not speak low of you, It doesn’t call you stupid or tell you that you will never be nothing. It does not call you out of your name. Love does not put his hands on you because of a simple disagreement. Love does not let you cry alone. Love doesn’t cheat. Love doesn’t wish death on you. Love doesn’t threaten to kill you. Love doesn’t flirt with everyone else and leave you empty. Love is not fear. Love is not having sex with him because you fear he might get it somewhere else. Love is not controlling or possessive. Love is not selfish. Love is not dishonest. Love is not resentful or unsupportive. Love is not petty or irrational. Love doesn’t isolate you from your friends and family. Again Love does not hurt or take pleasure in your pain.


Theirs so much more of what  I learned “Love is not”, but it gives me a better understanding of what Love is... God says it very well on what Love should look like in 1st Corinthians 13:4-13. Even though my learning process was a painful one I am so looking forward to learning “What Love is”... I can’t wait to finally say I do to my true love and best friend this time around. I can’t wait to hearing I love you because he just do. I can’t wait to get flowers just because... I can’t wait to have disagreements that ends with a kiss. I can’t wait to hear how smart and beautiful I am because I am... lol. I can’t wait to hold hands in public because he wants the world to see his love for me. I can’t wait to be uplifted the moments I feel down and wanting to giving up. I can’t wait to be held in his arms at night knowing all fear is gone.

I can’t wait to know how it feels when someone is truly honest and faithful. I can’t wait to know how it feels to be put first.


I can’t wait to learn “What Love Is... this time around...🙌🏽❤️👑

#sandralove #AmbassadorMsHaiti #mshaiti #haiti #haitipageants #love #inspire #motivational #queenin #queen #islandgirl #beauty #beautyqueen #melanin #like #share #rp #selfie #blog #tsr

“Letting Go”

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         Not everyone will exist in your process. Finding myself included letting go of some toxic people in my life. Being in abusive marriage had me holding on to the wrong things. I was afraid to leave because of all that image we worked hard to keep. I held on for all the wrong reasons. I was so afraid that certain people would not believe me. Or that the whole concept of divorce was a sign of failure. The longer I held on the weaker I was becoming and the closer to my grave I was getting. Many people say if you decide to let go then that means your giving up and that your weak and your losing the battle. You might just be winning the battle 🤔... During my process of healing after my divorce, finding myself I’ve discovered that the most strongest people and the most wisest have understood and mastered the art of letting go. Letting go sometimes is a great thing. It’s relief , it’s being able to breathe again. I was able to breath again!!! Letting go saved my life...!!! No weight weighing you down. It’s a feeling that’s close to freedom. Correction it is freedom. Holding on to the wrong things and people can cause you to lose your sanity. You deserve your sanity. Not everything or everyone deserves to be held on to. Hurt, depression, heart breaks, anger, bitterness, toxic relationships, the past and etc... All deserves to be let go. Just holding on to these negative energy and emotions will spread like cancer and kill any purpose that’s living in you. So the next time you feel like your weak if you let go of certain things just don’t feel guilty about the negative and toxic things. I’ve learned to let go and smile through it all... I love me too much to hold on to the very thing that’s killing me...

#selflove #love #blog #sandralove #AmbassadorMsHaiti #mshaiti #haiti #haitipageants #love #inspire #motivational #queenin #queen #islandgirl #beauty #beautyqueen #melanin #like #share #rp #selfie

Finding Myself

     

  Finding myself was the best moment of my life. That moment I realized who I really was. I was no longer bound to the lies... The lies that tried to make me believe that I was worthless, I was never going to make it, that I was stupid, that I wasn’t beautiful enough , and etc.

  I first had to accept the fact that I will need to start over. Begin with a clean slate.

  I decided to start dating myself. I would take my self to the movies. I would take myself to the fanciest restaurant. I had meditation time. I also had to ask myself  questions like What do “I” like? What “I” don’t like? What do “I” want out of my life? Where do “I” want to be in 5 to 10 years? All those questions I realized I had no answer to. (Ask yourself those questions and can you truly answer it all honestly)... As I continued this journey to finding myself  I then was able to answer those questions.

    It took me 3 years of going through the process. I had to let go of everything negative in my life. Bad habits was one of them. I had to really focus on knowing who I was. I had made it my business to explore new things. Exploring opened me up to all possibilities.

      Finding myself most importantly took prayer and reading the word. The more I got connected spiritually the closer I was finding who I was. You see If God created me, he must be the best person to go to that can help me with my journey.

    After finding myself and knowing who I was. I was now ready to love this person, I was ready to love me. I started to appreciate every part of me, even the imperfect parts. I became my own #WCW (woman crush Wednesday ). Finding myself opened the door to me Loving Me. #AmbassadorMsHaiti #SandraLove

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The healing process...

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      In my previous blog I said I would spill the tea on how I began my healing process. When you have been through the worst life has to offer you, giving up has become the solution.

      In 2014 I made the decision that I was going to heal myself. So the first step: is making the conscious decision to save your life. “You have to want better before you get better “. I got tired of the heavy heart, missing meals, the excessive crying, the excessive drinking, the suicidal thoughts, the isolations, feeling hopeless and etc. So I went back to my roots and I began to pray. Not those heavy breathing and shouting prayers that lasts hours, But the simple one. The one where you inhale and slowly exhale and tell God your tired and you simply cry and let it all go to him. Days went by and this was my prayers. And then my prayers went from silent tears to just a simple conversation, you know the ones you would have with a best friend. So step two: I simply prayed. While my relationship with God was growing my wounds started to heal. I had to let it all go. Yes! Step three : Is full Forgiveness. You have to forgive those that hurt you and you have to forgive yourself. Forgiveness has always been the hardest thing and that process alone is not easy. It felt good to hold anger in my heart towards other people and I didn’t realize I was poisoning myself. It’s like cigarettes to a smoker it feels good but it is silently destroying them. With every inhalation few seconds of life is taken away. Unforgiveness is the same way. I had to choose to be free from anger and hatred in my heart towards anyone and myself. I know it’s not easy but think of you saving your life. Remember (Marianne Williamson said it best “Unforgiveness is like drinking poison yourself and waiting for the other person to die...”) My favorite part of the process was finally finding myself. That was a very interesting process. Stay tune, I’ll tell you in my next blog.

                  ~Ambassador Ms.Haiti

                      (Sandra Love)

(Introduction to Sandra Love Ambassador Ms.Haiti)

     My whole life changed on March 24, 2018. The moment I was crowned “Ambassador Ms.Haiti” This process was challenging, but all worth it. This day I will never forget.

    Hi my name is Sandra Love, Your Ambassador Ms.Haiti. I am  the mother of three beautiful girls. I am the CEO of Bella Beauty Lounge and the Founder of Walking In Love Ministry. I am a certified Motivational Speaker as well.

    My platform is on “Self  Love”. Growing up was never easy for me. I dealt with so much insecurities and had no clue of who I was. 2008 was when I got married and had my first beautiful daughter. While in the marriage I dealt with physical abuse, emotional abuse and verbal abuse. I struggled with depression and wanted to take my own life several times. I felt worthless and ugly. I did not like me. I finally decided to walk away and leave the marriage in 2013 where I lost everything. Still the strongest and the best decision I have ever made.

     In 2014 I made the conscious decision to start my healing process. It wasn’t easy but it was worth it. You might be wondering what did I do to start the process? Well on my next blog I’ll spill the tea. During my process I was getting closer in finding myself. Who was I? A question at the time I struggled answering. I knew my name but I didn’t know the person behind. it. It took me about three years to heal and find myself.

    I’ve learned that the journey on becoming a better you will be challenging, but it’s within the challenges where our strengths are being built.

When I made the decision to enter Haiti International Pageant, I knew all those life lessons I’ve learned will be tested again. Did you know the moment I signed up I started to lose everything. And maybe God was preparing me for a time like this. The pageant tested my faith and in who I am. I had to lose so that I can gain something much greater. I have not only become Sandra Love, but I have now gained. I am Ambassador Ms.Haiti 2018.

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I Found Love....

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Ever wonder what Love is?

As a child I always wrote about love but never knew what it was.

The older I got, the more I experienced... the more my mind changed concerning Love.

So what love really is I asked myself, what components consist of Love.

Is it a lie...?  Is it suppose to hurt; physically or emotionally?

Does it put you down? Does it cheat? Does it gives up and turns its back on you...?

This is what I allowed Love to be, because I lacked the knowledge.

But all of that pushed and draw me closer to wanting to know more, I wasn't satisfied...

See Love does not leave you empty but it gives you the urge of wanting more of it.

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So that leads to the question...

Does Love really exists..?

Well, speaking from my opinion and years of searching...

Yes!!! Love Does Exist....

Now I'm sure your wondering How, so?

Through my search for Love I came across someone.

Yes I met someone antithetic. I was intrigued  by His presence.

The more I got to know Him, the more I learned about myself and expectations.

My perspective changed significantly. That is when I got a reality check...

I was wrong about what Love is all along...

The more time I spent with Him, the more I understood Loves existence.

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(He showed me patience...)

I felt unworthy and inadequate to finding someone with such greatness in my life.

Which caused me to slowly drift away from Him. He had high expectations of me, but because of my insecurities it caused me to not

work within my true potential.

I felt like I could not get anything right. (He remained Patient)

He told me that He knew I would get it right one day and that He will be their until I do...

(He showed me kindness)

Life left a a bitter taste in my mouth, which causes me sometimes to relapse sometimes; But He understood me.

He remained kind anyways... He did not care if I deserved it or not...

It was their for me 24/7...

He always uplifted me with kind words... Words like "Your Beautiful", "Your Worth It", "You Can Do It", "I Believe In You"...

He motivated me to be better... To be kind to everyone else around me...

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(He exposed me to humility.)

Till this day I have never seen Him prideful, arrogant, or boastful about anything...

Though He had every reason to, He remained humble...

The wisdom of dying to self...

He never dishonored me, but He celebrated me every time I did something right...

*Just by talking about Him makes me smile*

Its amazing how He puts me first above all.

I remembered walking out on Him thinking He would get frustrated or even angry with me;

But He only did the opposite and loved me some more...

His wrath I never witness... Even in His corrections.

I have to be honest and open with you...

I was barely faithful to Him.

I left Him over and over again..

Yup; I did Him wrong numerous of times,

It's not that He took me back every time that I could not comprehend...

But it's the fact that He never left... (Hun?)

He forgave me for it all and held no record of it...

Till this day He has never brought up my past... I'm the one who did not know how to let go...

I had to pinch myself and wonder if this was real...

Only to find out; it is...

Yes He protected me from all harm.

He trust me even when I did not trust my own self.

He never ran out of hope, matter of fact He gave me hope....!

When things around me started to crumble, I mean everything...

When things around me did not make sense...

He preserved me.

So you know me. I had to ask Him "When is all this going to end?".

My carnal mind could only understand the carnal things...

My mentality was... Good things don't usually last so I had to ask.

And He responded with such a gentle voice and said, "My Love Has No Deadline".

"Nothing You Do Could Keep Me From Loving You"

Love never fails...

Sometimes I tell myself I don't deserve His Love...

But because of Love I don't want to hurt Him nor disappoint Him any more... I did better...

I have never felt so free...!

I have never felt so beautiful...!

I have never felt so worthy...!

I had so many insecurities, but now watch me strut....

His ongoing love made me become a much better woman... My whole mindset has changed.

I am no longer who I use to be but I have became Love.

All this leads me to this question...

Can Someone Really Love...?

Yes, It is possible...

It is possible to receive Love and give it...

Through my experience the He and Him was all referred to God.

Anyone that posses God... I believe they can truly Love.

Anyone can Love...

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Because God is Love...

SN: Love is mostly alive when their is  Lies, Cheating, Hurt, Pain, Abuse, or any wrong...

Love goes after the imperfections and make them perfect...)

*Love Conquers All*

 

SHADES

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Why do you hide behind  those shades...? I asked her

Her respond:

Its to hide away the tears that I don't want no one to see.

Its to hide the pain in my eyes.

You see... My shades don't judge me.

They are their to protect me from the hard sun light called life...

I have them to protect my identity because I'm not confident in who I am anymore..

My shades cover up my hurts and my scars... 

It covers up my insecurities...

I feel much safer that way...

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My Response:

Take off those shades....

Its OK to show your tears... Your eyes shine and gets a glow afterwards.

Your pain is beautiful your scars are unique, look just like mine.

Look at me, I wont judge you... We all make mistakes... we all hurt.

Please Remove the shades 

Those shades hide your beauty "Your Beautiful"

The only way you'll find out who you truly are if you take off those shades...

(She then slowly took off the shades and she resembled me)

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The Woman In Me

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You ask me if I was happy. Well can’t you see my smile…?

 I am good where I’m at, I haven’t cried in a while…

I’m getting stronger day by day; I've found another way through

 God has rescued this little girl and made her all bran new…

 You asked me if I was blessed. Well can’t you see my swag…?

 I am good where I’m at, no need for me to brag.

I have become all women a change I’m proud to see

Just to see me happy and bless I've become the woman in me!!

Breath again!

Sometimes people can be mean and put you down because of your flaws 

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Sometimes they determine who you are because of your past, 
but they don't understand we all are not perfect and people do change 
if that wasn't the case then why is their such thing as being born again? 

What I realize is that to some point of our life we all have experience hurt in some way or form 
But how we go about it is how we determine our maturity and who we are 

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Sometimes people will create those tears you try to hold in for so long 
Sometimes people will rob you of your joy, just when you think .... everything is going well 
But understand people will take from you if you have something to give 
And their are those that are like leaches, will suck the life out of you 
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But be strong and of good courage, 
because we live to learn 
We cry to heal 
Make mistakes to change 
and we love to be love 
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And I realize that God is not those people, even though he created them 
He has to take us through these journey to help us grow 
Its like a father preparing His child for the real world 

So exhale and breathe again 
yes, breath again! 
and live to learn! 
cry to heal! 
And forgive, "those sometimes people" 
because at some point in our lives, we were one of them... 

Now exhale and breathe again! 
Yes! breath again. 

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~Sandra Momplaisir ~

Becoming Better

ImageBeing better, Becoming better is not for the world... But it's for you.The world just so happens to benefit from it. Every step you take towards progression gets you closer to your destination of who you truly are. The obstacles along the way are exactly what they are "obstacles" (A thing that blocks one's way or prevents or hinders progress). Its OK...! They are their to make you much stronger and wiser. It benefits you at the end. Pressing to become better shows dedication. Holding on for the better shows perseverance. I'm not sharing this just because... But I too am on that same journey of becoming a better me. And yes I still stumble, I still get weak, and still deal with hurt at times. But the better I see I am becoming, hope is increasing. I'm not only becoming better, but I'm becoming hopeful...

"Their is hope in your becoming"

I'm Learning Love...

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I'm learning how awesome God's Love is.

I now understand my purpose in Him. It is to Love like Him, Forgive like Him, and Fight like Him, To find Peace in Him.

Love is much greater than our mortal understanding it is beyond our thoughts and imaginations.

Our mistakes is what makes us see what Love truly is.

Love can only manifest where their is brokenness,  sadness,  mistakes and in  any area we as human fall short in. Just like light can only shine in darkness.

Love is transparent. It sees through the lies, the brokenness,  the guilt, the hurt, the mistakes,  and everything else. Just as God sees our heart.

Wherever their is healing, Love is in the midst. Wherever their is joy, Love is present. Wherever their is peace,  Love exists. And wherever their is Love,  You have found God.

                         ~ SandraMomplaisir